Today I'm having a kandid chat about re-inventing yourself.
Reinvention has become something of a buzz word, partly because the pandemic has forced so many people into reinvention, whether they wanted it or not.
If you've ever wanted to reinvent yo...
Today I'm having a kandid chat about re-inventing yourself.
Reinvention has become something of a buzz word, partly because the pandemic has forced so many people into reinvention, whether they wanted it or not.
If you've ever wanted to reinvent yourself in your personal or professional life, this episode is for you!
I was joined for this often times hilarious chat by 3 living representatives of re-invention:
Karin Freeland: Reinvention coach, self-described recovered corporate workaholic & Author of "The Ins and Outs of My Vagina: A Penetrating Memoir"
Travia Steward: Breakthrough Transformational Coach & Founder of Reinvent You LLC
Helen Ryan: Author and Host of "The Walking and Talking Podcast
Do a life audit, find your true purpose, the thing that really lights you up, ask yourself "what's the worst that can happen" and then go for it!
Take a listen to hear their stories & their advice on reimagining and re-inventing your life to be what you want it to be!
Connect with Travia:
Connect With Karin:
Get "The Ins & Outs of My Vagina: A Penetrating Memoir
Connect with Helen:
Intro: "Welcome To The Kandid Shop" by Anthony Nelson aka BUSS_TE
Outro: "Unreasonable Expectations" by Rafa Sessions
Brand New You
Kandidly Kristin: Hola podcast nation. It's your girl, Kandidly, Kristin. And this is the Kandid shop. Your number one destination for kandid conversations. Today, we're going to talk about reinvention. Reinvention has become something of a buzz word, partly because the pandemic has forced so many people into reinvention, whether they wanted it or not.
I am joined today for this discussion by three living and breathing representatives of re-invention. First, we have life in of the hilarious tell all book, the ins and outs of my vagina, a penetrating memoir, Ms. Karin Freeland.. We're going to talk about the book later.
I just love saying the title. I could say it all. Nice. My next guest is a breakthrough transformational coach and host of the break through podcast. And also founder of reinvent, you LLC, Travia Steward and last, but certainly not least is author and host of the walking and talking pod. Helen M. Ryan Helen also runs a marketing communication agency and has traveled throughout the world as a digital nomad.
And I'm going to need to hear more about that later as well. So welcome. Welcome, welcome. All three of you ladies to the kandid shop. Yay. Well,
Travia Steward: thank you so much.
Kandidly Kristin: Thank you for having us. Oh, I'm so glad that you all are here. It seems like forever. Since I talked to you with the exception of Helen, it's been a while.
And I've been so looking forward to this chat because I am actively in the process of reinventing my professional life and going from property manager to podcast host and on air radio personality. So yay. Talk about it. I found this stat that I found interested in. I wanted to share with you and get your opinion on it, and then we'll go from there.
So the U S bureau of labor statistics says that in January of 2022, nearly 4.3 million people quit or resigned from their jobs. What makes this an interesting statistic is that number was nearly the same as a little bit more. They say, as the record set, two months early, In November, 2021, when COVID was soaring, when cases were surgeon and all that, that number suggests to me that people were seasoned an opportunity to reevaluate their lives and make wholesale changes in their career paths.
What do you ladies think about that one by one? And it doesn't matter who goes.
Travia Steward: I'll jump right in. I completely agree. I've been in conversation with so many people back in the day, it was common in place to stay to, you know, graduate from college, get that job. You stay in that job. You'll get a pension.
And now you, you know, you were doing. And then you start living or then you actually might die because now people don't know how to use their brains. Right. Cause like, what does retirement look like? And so I think, you know, the great resignation COVID, whatever it is, you know, all those things happen for us so that we could have permission to.
Actually go and have some urgency with doing something we really want to do instead of just staying in a job for 35, 25 years, because we want a pension and because we want longevity. And so I think people are. Hey, ain't no better time than right now because tomorrow's not promised that's right. So I think that's created urgency.
Karin Freeland: Yeah, I agree. And I know as a former workaholic, you know, I never had time to stop and think about what I want. I was constantly just go, go, go, go, go. And so when is the pandemic suddenly? So many of us had this opportunity to take a breath, go wait a second. What is it that I really want to be doing?
Is this, what is this, what I want to go out? You know, if, if it COVID comes my way and I don't make it, is this what I want to be doing? The day before building PowerPoints to justify my existence to others. Yeah. No, no, thanks. I'm good on that.
Kandidly Kristin: Right? Right. Agree. And Helen.
Helen Ryan: Yeah. I think that with, you know, once when you're on that treadmill, you don't understand what it's like to be off the treadmill and you go and you go and you go, and then when people had that break from COVID well, during COVID, they, they finally realized, oh my God.
So this is what it's like, not to commute so far. This is what it's like, not to do stuff I don't like anymore. And I think. Really started to reevaluate and realize how precious life is and how precious every minute is.
Kandidly Kristin: Yep. I agree. Uh, great. I wanted to ask off three of you, pandemic aside. Do you think that this, this sense of, and I like to call it the reintegrate reinvention, not the great resignation era.
Do you think it was inevitable? Oh my God. Sorry, I don't know how to happen. Do you think it wasn't evitable? Even if the pandemic had never had.
Karin Freeland: Well, I don't know if it would have been on that grand scale, but I know for myself I'm going to be 42 soon, but this really started for me when I was 36 and I would be, I was chief of staff.
I was in a very high pressure role and I would just have these overwhelming sense of dread and frustration and imposter syndrome. Feeling like, is this even what I want to do, but I kept suppressing it because I'm like, yo, you have bills to pay. This is what you're supposed to do. Like, what was the point of getting that business degree if you're not gonna be in business.
And it just, I wouldn't allow myself initially to have those thoughts and it started to progress into the point where it got so bad. I was having waking up nightly with panic attacks, fearing death, worried that I was going to wake up one day. Regret everything my whole life would have gone by. And so little by little and we'll, I'm sure we'll talk about some of the tips and things that we recommend for people to do to tap into that and give yourself permission to explore.
But as I started to go on this journey, I was like, oh wow. Maybe I could be in charge of my destiny. Maybe I could design a life that I actually love. Right. Maybe this is for everyone and not just special people
Kandidly Kristin: or certain people. Yeah. Yep. Anybody else have a comment on that before we move into something?
Travia Steward: I have a quick comment. Do I think it was inevitable? I think, you know, just kind of like what Karen said. I think this was the push right now because of COVID because it allowed everybody to open up. But, but I, yeah, I think it would have eventually happened because you know, personal development coaching, everybody looking into themselves with health and wellness has become so.
Popular, you know, but it's become important to a lot of people's like, you know, because what's the first thing people say, oh, it's my health and my wellbeing, you know, like I was a high school theater teacher for 24 years and I had kids who would walk, who had a pass and go, I'm not feeling emotionally safe today.
I get to go sit in the counselor's office. You know, I just think everybody is so much more and better aware than they ever have been. And I go, you know what. I don't want to have to deal and stick with this. Just like my mama did. My grandmother did so. Yeah. I don't think it would have happened. So like right now in such a big way, but I think it is, it was inevitable.
Yes. I agree.
Helen Ryan: I'll bring a dissenting opinion. I don't know if people would have, if it wasn't for the pandemic. I don't know how, I mean, maybe down the road, but people are so stuck, you know, in the routines and fear of making change, even though the young, maybe with the younger generation coming in. 'cause my generation.
I'm 56, my generation we're like set the certain way. And the, and the boomers are a certain way. And I think the millennials and the generation Z, I think they're more, like you said, the emotional, what they have, they take care of their emotional health. But as long as my generation is primarily in the workforce, I don't know if they would have taken the break or stopped to smell the flowers.
Kandidly Kristin: Got it. Got it. That that's I am in your age bracket. It's scary. It's scary. And, and millennials and gen Z are, is don't seem to have that same level of fear about the unknown and taking risks and stuff like that. So, yeah, I think, I think it was inevitable, but I don't know that that inevitability would have been.
Helen you and I, my generation without the pandemic, if each of you could just really briefly give me your personal definition of reinvention and briefly share your story, that'd be awesome. And anybody can go for.
Travia Steward: Okay, I'll go first. Okay. Like an eager beaver, right? You don't reinvention to me, especially because I was a, an acting teacher, a director for 24 years.
So it is changing yourself, you know, so much. Meet the demands of your next, you know, on stage, it was your next character. It was your next part that you're playing in a play, which I approach that just like in real life, if we want to do something that we've never done, then we have to become someone we'd never been.
And so reinvention means, okay, what is this thing that I am looking at? And that I see down the road and who do I need to become that my goals require me to be. And so for me, when I, you know, quit my. My job during the pandemic. Right. I quit my hat. I was coaching and teaching at the same time. And so my story with reinvention was I was one of those people who was waiting for the perfect time, you know, oh, I gotta wait till I replace my salary, blah, blah, blah, before I go full time.
Well, I reinvented myself because. COVID happened. We went on zoom and early stage breast cancer happen in early 2020. And so I felt like the universe was going, girl, if you're going to do that, then you gotta do that shit now. Okay. Right. Yup. And so that's how I went. Okay. And it's like, well, how can I step more boldly into who I was created to be?
So that's what reinvention looks like for me. And that's how it has manifested in my life.
Kandidly Kristin: Well, let me just say before the next person goes, I'm so glad you're here with us. Cause breast cancer is, it's a scary thing. So I am glad that you are surviving and thriving. Thank you. Appreciate that. And who wants to go next?
Which your definition and briefly hear your story. Okay.
Helen Ryan: Well, I'll jump in. I think the definition is either changing into someone that you want to be, or going back to the person you used to be a lot of times, again, especially my generation. We get so lost in parenting, we get so lost and being wife or a mother and all the other things.
And we just, we give up everything that we enjoy doing, you know, and, and the things that were part of us, like back in the eighties or late eighties, I was a fitness instructor and I, I did all these different things and I went to college. I was all fearless. And then I ended up getting away from everything and I just was a mom and I was unhappy with what I was doing.
And I gained like almost a hundred pounds and I would just mired in my own misery. And then. W when I eventually started to lose weight walking and, and just doing things to get a little bit back into shape, again, nothing extreme that I became. I didn't become someone else. I became the person I used to be.
And then I expanded and just, just, you know, it grew from there to even bigger things that I never even envisioned back
Kandidly Kristin: then. Nice, nice. That's awesome. I did. I was on your website and I was like, wait, is that. Because you've lived, you look totally like somebody else, so kudos to you for that. And Karen.
Karin Freeland: Yeah, sure. So for me, it's all about discovering my purpose and getting really clear on what it is that I want out of life and understanding how I can own my power. And I think Travia started to say earlier, like this op, this COVID happened almost for us. And I spent so much of my life in the passenger seat.
Feeling like life was just happening to me, but I didn't realize I could just get in the driver's seat, put up some boundaries, make some decisions and I could own my power again. And then it's really about building that pathway to freedom. And so what does that look like? And it's going to be different for everybody.
You know, I have clients that come to me and they want to do what I did. They want to ditch the nine to five, get out of corporate. And then I have others that are like, no, I actually like my job. But I'm overworked or I don't have enough boundaries or I don't have the confidence to go for a promotion.
And then there's other people who want to maybe move to a nonprofit, something that's more heart-centered for them. Maybe doesn't make the money they used to make. But by this point they've already kind of made their money. They don't, it's not about money anyway. Right. And that was really my story. You know, I had the perfect life on paper.
I had this six figure salary. I had the fancy title. I had the big team and I was unhappy and I felt guilty. Like, how dare I be unhappy? What is wrong with me? I'm supposed to love this. And there was just this overwhelming sense of something missing that. And it was that purpose that,
Travia Steward: oh no, she froze.
Kandidly Kristin: Oh, no.
And that was getting good to go. Hey you
Karin Freeland: for all of us or just me,
Kandidly Kristin: that was just you.
Karin Freeland: Oh, what happened? Those kids better not be on that wifi.
Travia Steward: Those kids are on that wire and
Kandidly Kristin: they're definitely on the wifi. So Karen, you were just, you, you froze right at the point where you were. It was about purpose.
Karin Freeland: Oh yeah.
So that's really what it was. I needed that deeper sense of purpose. And once you click into that, you know, you, your life is reinvented and you really are able to step into that and fully embody it.
Kandidly Kristin: Okay. Reinvention. Is it more reinventing yourself or reinventing your life and are they one in the same to you?
Karin Freeland: Yeah, I was going to say it's a little bit of both, right? Because there's so many things and it's totally coach speak, but we always talk about our limiting beliefs. Right. So every coach is going to not go yeah. Limiting beliefs. And then every normal person is gonna be like, what the hell is a limiting belief, but basically it's any thought that holds you back.
And I remember for years like journaling, I love journaling. And that's where I get a lot of insights to myself. And I would say things. Well, I, I can't switch jobs because I'll never be able to make as much money as I make. Right. That's a limiting belief. And literally six months after I wrote that in my journal, I had a bigger, better job with more pay, no vacation like policy, and it was a hundred per a hundred times better.
But if I hadn't worked on that limiting belief and reinventing. Then I wouldn't have been able to go and apply for this job and take that next step. So there's definitely things that we have to do within ourselves to change the way that we look at the world in order to make that step.
Travia Steward: Yeah. And I'm going to piggyback off of that.
I think it's, it's a matter of. Too, because you can reinvent yourself all day long, but if you're still going to be the average of the five people that you used to be the average, then that's no good because you're still running and what the, you know, the smallest school, the same school of fish, you were swimming it.
So those changes are only going to be temporary. So you have to do some house cleaning, you know, These people, you know, who I'm hanging around with. They're not going to help me get to the neck because you revert back. Right. Because they remember old Travia. You weren't like that in high school. What you doing?
Who is this? I don't recognize you. Good. You don't recognize me. And that's the whole point, you know? Where are you evolving? So, yeah, I definitely think it's both. Both have to be reinvented. All right. Yep.
Helen Ryan: Jumping on the same thing. It is both. You have to change. Your parts or change, evolve, parts of yourself, and then your life starts to change, but you also have to make steps to make, to take those steps, to make your life change.
Kandidly Kristin: Got it. Got it. Now Travia this question, I'm going to direct that you initially, because it's the question that I got from your profile, but then I'd like you other ladies to add your thoughts. Why do you think it's important to reinvent yourself throughout your life?
Travia Steward: So, yeah, and that goes a bit to Karen because not many people.
You know, like when I was doing out into a purpose was, you know, so I re I, I invented myself to, to be a concert lighting designer. Then I reinvented myself to be a teacher. And I just think it's important throughout your life, because it's like, I feel like we are like flowers, if we're not growing, we're dying.
Right. And then, because then how do you get that? But doing the same thing you've always done. No, we always have to get uncomfortable. And once you step out of comfort, you know, because people, you know, most people I know are more willing to stay comfortable than they are to rise and go for it. So that's where the growth is.
So reinventing yourself, even after you leave that nine to five and you're 65 and it's time for Medicare. Reinvent yourself again. A friend who just turned, she doing triathlon. She swimming every day, doing all this stuff and she's 67 and she just retired from her corporate. Now she's starting full-time life coaching.
She's like, maybe I'm just getting started. Right. Right. And so she's going to be a hundred going. I did all I came here to do. Thank
Kandidly Kristin: you.
Travia Steward: That's what I'm talking about.
Kandidly Kristin: All right. So re-invention should be on going. I like it. I
Karin Freeland: like, yeah, because I think that your purpose to changes throughout your life and you know, my kids are getting older.
Now. My kids might have two boys they're tending to. And I had this like, overwhelming sense around, you know, when they were like eight and 10. Oh my gosh, they're growing up. They're going to be out of the house in like 10 years. What am I doing? I'm missing all their concerts. I'm missing their games. I'm not being the mom that I want to be.
And I didn't have that overwhelming sense when they were babies. You know, some women, they really want to stay home and the baby baby. And I was like, no, I'm ready. I'll be at work. I'll see ya. I've gone on a business trip. Good luck. And I loved that. I was fueled by my career, but it fizzled out and maybe it was to Travia's point, like the growth wasn't there anymore.
I was just like, this isn't challenging me. This isn't fun. I need something new and different at a creative outlet. Hence the book. And you know, in 10 years when my kids are actually gone and out of the house, well, that purpose isn't going to be there anymore. Right. I'm going to have a different role in their life.
So then I might reinvent myself again. I'm sure I will. Cool,
Kandidly Kristin: cool. And Helen, any thoughts? Anything that. Yeah, that will
Helen Ryan: changing and reinventing ourselves throughout life is, you know, where we should be because the growth really makes, it just makes us happier to do new things and to try new things and have that stimulation is also good as we get older because our brains need to be stimulated constantly in differently to really keep it.
Some people like reinventing doesn't have to be big. Some people are really happy. Like, like Karen was saying in their jobs. Some people are happy there, but they can do little changes, pick up a new hobby, pick up an old hobby, find even small things. Some people don't want to make the big changes. My dad was really happy working for the same company.
It, same type of job. Come home, drink his beer, eat his peanuts, watches TV. That was his life. He was really happy, but he would occasionally do a few things, like go up to the mountains and things like that for him. That was good enough.
Kandidly Kristin: Okay. Got it. Got it. Got it. Very good. This is another question for, to you first then in the other ladies, can ed, you said it's important to have intentional conversations now as their conversations with self other people.
What does that mean?
Travia Steward: I think it's both, you know, because yeah, like one of the first things I do in the morning is, you know, I try not to grab my phone, you know, but, you know, but it is to set my intention. It is. So the first thing in the morning, I, you know, which may sound like woo talk, but I create myself and in creating who I want to be and how I want to walk through the world.
I look in the mirror. This is my intention for the day I am courageous. I am bold. I am authentic. I'm fully expressed in an, every person I interact with today. I am going to make them their day better than it was. I'm not going to be the person who, who craps on their day. And so, yeah, it's intentional our actions and our words, but it comes from your being, who are you being?
So once you create yourself, those things should really fall in line. If you're consistent with who you're being right.
Kandidly Kristin: I like that. I write that a lot. And if you other ladies have any thoughts on that additions to that,
Helen Ryan: I think it's important to talk to yourself and other people, but I really talk to myself.
I talk myself into things. I talk myself out of things. So that's kind of, and I, I know myself really well from doing that.
Travia Steward: Okay. Nice.
Karin Freeland: Yeah. Most of my talking, I think is through journaling. That's just, that's a way that, that works really well for me. And I actually start most of my morning with prayer. So I have an intentional conversation with God about, you know, what, where I'm going, where he sees me going, what he wants me to do and ask sometimes I get answers right away.
Sometimes they don't. So this was a journey.
Kandidly Kristin: Got it. So let me ask you all three of you and you can answer in any. What do you think is the most important step in any reinvention journey? The most important that
Karin Freeland: I'll pop in here with this one and cause this one, without this, I, I never would have met personally.
I don't think I would have been able to progress. And it is a, what I call, turn into. And it's really having that honest, intentional conversation with yourself about what's working. What's not working. What is scaring you, you know, why aren't you taking the leap? What are your real thoughts? And I mean, I wrote down some.
Pretty crazy things, you know, like I'm afraid I won't be able to pay my bills. What if my husband doesn't love me anymore because I'm not bringing in money, you know? Like I really put it down on paper and then it was like, oh, of course, he's still gonna love me. But you know, when you keep it all, all in your head, it actually sounds like it might make sense.
But then when I put it down on paper and I got honest with myself, like no care, and you're not happy though, no amount of money is worth you. Grinding your teeth at night, you having silent acid reflux so bad that you cannot swallow from the stress. I mean, I was literally killing myself. And so when I got really honest about all that, it was very easy for me to see something has to change.
And the only thing I have control over changing is myself.
Travia Steward: Perfect. Perfect. I'd like to jump in next. I think the thing that, the main ingredient, like the, the, you know, the crust on the pie, like he holds everything is commitment. I think you decide, and you have to be committed because, and I can't remember who said it, but it's like, Interested in reinventing yourself.
If you're only interested, then excuses will come up and then, oh, it's not the time or my wait a little longer. Oh, my son has baseball practice. I'm going to take, but if you're committed, you'll do whatever it takes to make that thing happen. No excuses whatsoever. And so I think it's commitment. Okay.
Helen Ryan: I'm all about the small steps.
So I take little steps and do small things that scare you just a little bit. And then you conquer those little small things that scare you. And then you can go to bigger things because the more things that scare you conquer, the more willing you are when you don't die, the more willing you are to make
Travia Steward: bigger changes.
Kandidly Kristin: You're like, okay, it didn't kill me. All right. Yes. I agree with all three of you, but for most people, the, when you're thinking about. Moving from one place in your life to something totally different. Like I think for the most part, many people reinvent themselves in small ways. They might start setting boundaries with family members or friends, or even at work little small things.
But when you're talking about a big leap, like I'm just going to quit my job today. This is going to work out and pay all my bills, even though my bills come to like whatever dollar amount that is. And I don't really know where that's coming from that scary. So you, two ladies are Travia and Karen, you are reinvention coaches.
And what do you say to somebody that comes in and knows that they're not lit up anymore? What they're doing? They know that they're. That they either want to go back to doing or being, or see for themselves in the future. What does a blueprint for reinvention look like? And I know it's individual to everybody, but just maybe some core things besides the inner conversation and the commitment.
What, how do you take them through that in a way that works?
Travia Steward: Okay. I know I'm always eager beaver, but I always go because what happens is, let me tell you why I do that because I go, oh, what Karen said sounds good too. And then, you know what Karen said?
I think, like I had a conversation with a lady just this past Saturday at, you know, at a friend's party and she's been wanting to write a book and she's like, and you know, I'm going to use her words as copy on my website. He goes, and I was like, you know, well, what are you up to? She goes, I'm in a holding pattern.
And I was like, oh, I'm so good. Right. That's so good. Because, so the first thing that I would tell someone like her is. We would get down to the bottom and go, like Karen was saying, what are those thoughts? What are those beliefs? That's keeping you from writing that book? What are the so, and I call it, you know, like it's my third pillar of.
My, my breakthrough blueprint is peeling the onion. And so in acting, what we used to do is go, let's build that onion, baby, and then we're going to peel it on stage. Right. And that was, let's add a little backstory. Let's add given circumstances now know characterizations. Let's add all those things. Let's add a moment before let's add intention of overall object.
I could tell some of you, people have done some acting, you know what I'm talking about, right. And so we would layer on that onion and then we go, okay, let's peel it one at a time. So with someone coming in, we would go, what is com what is making up your onion? And then we would peel it layer after layer and go, let's get rid of that junk because we all have these stories and beliefs and conditioning that we're, you know, we're not.
We're just merely people who can recognize and observe our thoughts. Right? So once we peel back this fake conditioning, these stories, these beliefs who we think we are, he'd get down to the sweetest part of the onion. And I, you know, in a crawfish boy, I would actually eat that little sweet core of the onion.
Right. Because that's the best, that's the best part. So you peel that back. Now, like what Helen was saying. Let's remember, let's get back to who we were, you know, and I say, let's get back to who we were created to be. So it's a matter of all these things that are stopping you, or most of the time, I have never found any client or myself for it to be true.
They're all a lot of, you know, you know, false evidence appearing, rear real, you know, the fear in their lives. Right. And so we would peel it and get to that core and go, now, girl, let's go get that book.
Kandidly Kristin: Okay. And does that, is that effective for most people? I mean, it seems like it's a lot of work. It's not, when I, I mean, it's a lot of like deep work, shadow work.
I call it like, you've got to look into all of the, the thoughts that you've heard or been told about yourself, even from yourself to yourself. Yeah, dig all that up. And our people for the most part, committed to that journey and timeframe wise, what does it look like?
Travia Steward: You know, some people are committed, but some people are interested.
Some people don't do the work. I mean, you know, I have people who are like, We, you have to increase your, your awareness. We have to know what thoughts are producing the, the, your, your reality right now. Right? And so in order to do that, I get them to document the thoughts, you know, send me the thoughts, share your thoughts with me.
And then some people are like, you know, I've just got so busy. I just, I didn't do it today. Well, those people are going to be in the same place today that they were last month. And so, yeah, it's not something that we're going to go through at least, you know, I don't have a magic. But it's not something that we're going to go through and come out on the other side after three weeks.
I mean, I I'm working with clients for three years, but you know, but some six months, six months, usually there is a discernible difference, but I have some clients who are going on and go, you going to be my coach forever growing and growing and growing. And I can't even imagine my life without you in it.
So yeah, that's, that's my 2 cents. Okay.
Karin Freeland: Yeah. So I'm definitely in the six month camp. Typically, most of my clients, that's the package that they go with first and my program is called edit your life. And edit is actually an acronym and it's kind of the steps that we follow. So the first one is really envisioning that goal.
And this is really fun because we get to brainstorm. We get to make vision boards. You know, we get to really think big, like what is the ideal life that we want to create? And then once we have that, we niche it down into like three to five goals. Yes, your, your brain can only handle so many things. You can only do so many things at one time.
So if you have like a bucket list of 50 things, that's awesome. That's your bucket list, right? What I'm talking like as goals, things that are important to you right now, what are those three to five things that we want to move on to step D in edit document the goal, come up with a plan and action plan.
How are we going to make this happen? What are the milestones? Then we go to invest, what do we need to invest in or uninvested, right? Like take your time out of maybe, you know, the PTA or some other thing that you're doing, that isn't bringing you the joy and helping you get to your goals. And then the T is for taking action.
And that's, you know, as all of us as coaches, we're your accountability partner and we're holding you accountable. You know, I'm emailing my clients. Hey, where's your progress reform this week? I haven't seen it come through yet or, Hey, you know, what's happened since last week. Did you get that interview and just really staying on top of them to make sure that they are progressing?
So, yeah, I mean, you can lead a horse to water, but I do as much as I can to make sure that they can't fail.
Travia Steward: Right, right.
Kandidly Kristin: Okay. I want to pivot a little bit and I want to talk to each of you about your personal project. So, um, for Helen, I want to know about the digital nomad, what the heck that is. And I want to know a little bit about your podcast, the walking and talking podcasts.
I know a little bit, because I poked around your site. And then Karen, I absolutely want to know about the book and Travia. I want to know about. Your re-invent you, so anybody can start, and this will give my listeners just a little bit, cause they're probably listening, like, oh, I like all three of them. I can't have all three though.
Let me see. So I just, just a little bit of, you know, history about your books, your projects, your, your companies and your podcasts. That'd be awesome.
Helen Ryan: I'll jump in first. So yes. So, so obviously you can tell, I'm not a coach here. I've made lots and lots of transitions in my life. Like, and I, so I run a digital marketing agency, but my side gig, my side hustle, I was a spinning instructor and personal trainer for like 15 years.
So I have a lot of experience also with helping people transform themselves. I'm not doing that anymore, but just working with people because what I learned and I'll go back to them. The other stuff is that when you. You can master some little physical things you can do, like plank five seconds longer.
You can do pushups. Now. It really builds that strength to branch out into other parts of life. And that's, that's what happened to me when I finally lost weight. Again, starting with baby steps, I lost over 80 pounds. Then I became a certified spinning instructor, certified trainer. And then I wrote the books that well, I wanted to, I started writing my first book when I was nine.
Didn't turn out, turn. Didn't finish it. So not very well, but that's my secret dream. So I'm finishing my third book now. And I just started with little steps and I made these walls. Sometimes I made like gigantic, gigantic changes, like, you know, running away from home in Norway when I was 17 to the U S and thing, you know, big things like that.
Kandidly Kristin: a big one,
Helen Ryan: but I've done. Like, I, I didn't have any money when I was listening to the moms. I was working for a magazine. I was writing some articles for $11 an hour, and I got, I couldn't afford concert tickets. So I, I asked the editor, the publisher of the magazine and they got me in the photo pit.
And I was, I got on the tour bus to interview this fan. I didn't have a recorder. I had no idea. I had to borrow a camera for my ex-husband and I'm shooting like pictures of the photo pit. So I started this. For years, I was a rock in a music photographer because I was like, I was poor and I needed a, I needed some, you know, I needed to get tickets and I found myself doing something else.
Cause I said, yes. So long story short, I have a pie walking podcast because during the pandemic, you know, people weren't going to the gym, the gyms were closed. So if it will let me put my. My knowledge of people together with, with some coaching. And so I came up with a walking podcast, so they have each episode, soul episode has two versions, one with background, walkie music, one without.
And so I just kind of coach people along. We talk about everything from weight loss, health, mental health, motivation, all kinds of things like that.
Kandidly Kristin: Nice. That sounds awesome. Thank you for sharing that. Who wants to go next?
Travia Steward: Okay, I'll go next. All right. So what I'm up to is, so when I first started, re-invent you, I was actually surprised when I went and got the dot, well, it used to be the.com and then I went with my name, but when I first got the LLC, I was like, I can't believe this wasn't already taken.
I mean, there was some, I mean, like reinventing you is taken, but reinvent you was it. And so when I started doing the work myself, I recognize that it was my fifth grade teacher who empowered and inspired me to feel like I was enough. She heard me, she saw me, which was my motivation to then become a high school theater teacher, because I wanted to see those people who didn't make the athletic teams who, you know, weren't the class presidents, they were the different eccentric people.
And I wanted to see that, but then it came down to a point where it was. Okay, I've done this for a long time. What? I'm not, I'm no longer growing. I'm that flower who is now stagnant, beginning to die. And so then I was like, Like Karen said also my purpose began to evolve. I wanted a T bulb on a bigger scale because I had this conversation with my mother before, like my mother lived to be 85 and about six months before she died, she had five kids.
Right. And I said, mom, you lived at your girl. You're 85. You know, we didn't know she was dying in six months after that, but we're just talking, you know, it was like in 85 years, what are you most proud of? Yeah. Like all those kinds of questions you just go ahead and silly ask, well, why are you asking me all those stupid?
I don't know, nothing, nothing, you know, you five monkeys, you know, she would just say, you know, silliness. And so I turn that question back on myself and I said, well, what am I proud of? What have I done? What have I put in the universe? Right. And went on my own journey. And so then my, my vision shifted to.
My goal, my I'm walking on this earth. My mission statement is to empower and inspire as many people as I can to live the highest vision of their lives without settling, because my mother settled and I was settling for two thirds of my life. And so that's what I'm up to. So that's my, that's my business.
When people are in a holding pattern, people are stuck. And then I also have what's called the breakthrough podcast because generally it takes. We have this thing that happened for me, it was, it was cancer. It was COVID, you know, and then I'm like, I recognize the breakthrough. And when it's time to break through that, that layer of, of stuff that I no longer want in my life.
And so on the breakthrough podcast, I had people come on and tell their breakthrough story. And then. Do what we do with that onion. And we peel that onion and we uncover who were you before? Who are you now on the other side? And so that's the way I show up because we share stories. Sometimes I do a solo episode, but most of the time it's interview style because I just love the back and forth.
You know, this w this talking to myself is kinda like that. So that's what I'm up to in the world.
Kandidly Kristin: Okay. Awesome. That all sounds amazing. Thank you for sharing that. Garen not
Karin Freeland: right. Let's round it out with, this is a crazy book, the ins and outs of my
Travia Steward: vagina.
Oh, I know.
Karin Freeland: Well, we're going where women need to go talking about these topics that we've been made to feel shameful about and made to feel like they're taboo when it's really just something that we're all going through. So. The book is broken down into eight parts and it starts out with me being five years old and even realizing that I have a vagina and possibly getting it very confused with another body part, like a male body part.
And so then I move on, I get my period. I share those stories. And so many women have reached out and been like, oh my God. You don't even know. I got my period on a playground or at a baseball game. And I was with, you know, my girlfriend and her dad was weird and I didn't know what to do. And it's like, you get to relive a lot of your stories in the early years.
Right. And then it goes into like high school and losing my virginity and going to college. There's some really serious topics in there too about mixing medication and drinking too much and ending up in situations that I should not have put myself in. And, you know, I'm hoping that as people read it, they will have conversations with their daughters about what to do and how to be safe and still have a good time.
Um, and then, you know, we move on to like getting married and pregnancy and pregnancy sex, which is not real glamorous hate to break first that bubble and, you know, Pacing the orgasm, because I think for so many women, right, we are not having as many orgasms as we should have if you're at least in a heterosexual relationship.
Anyway, the, the, the scales tipped way towards the male in that area. And I, for many years I felt just effective and broken and like, something was wrong with me and I didn't have anyone to talk to you about it. So it's a really funny journey with the exception of the chapter on miscarriage, because you know, that.
Obviously, but I'd be remiss if I didn't include it because it is such a momentous experience and tragic experience. And so, you know, our vaginas are sources of so many things, pain, pleasure, excitement, you know, and, and we have to learn to deal with all of that.
Travia Steward: Yeah.
Kandidly Kristin: Wow. Yeah. You know what bef Travia before you know who didn't go, Karen, you were less, I wanted to ask you.
About the digital nomad thing. What exactly is that? Did you explain that already? Because
Helen Ryan: now I was. When I, in 2015, I was so burned out and tired of my life. Cause I was working with my business. I was teaching spin. I was training clients. I was raising two kids. I was so exhausted trying to keep a roof over our heads.
And I had traveled briefly before. That was the 2000. No, I lied 2017. How dare I lie like that? So my daughter was my youngest graduated high school. And I said, you know, my roommate was moving out and we, we couldn't afford like a plate. I couldn't afford to keep just by myself that and the roommate. So I told the kids, I said, let's just put everything in storage, delicious, go and travel.
So we did, and we started traveling around the world as digital nomads. So my son worked with me. He's. Five now, but we traveled. Then we went to different cities and we would work from coffee shops from Airbnbs and from hotels. And we traveled from place to place a lot through Southeast Asia. My sister lives there.
She founded and runs an animal for a center and Thailand. And then we went through certain places in Europe and then after they went home, I went and traveled through the Balkans and, and all these other places that I always wanted to see. And it was the most amazing thing. I don't. I'm so glad I got to experience it and I can't wait until I can someday get back out there again, but seeing how other people live, other cultures, languages.
And what I learned along this journey is that people who have the least are the most generous and the most kindness.
Kandidly Kristin: As thing now, how long did you do that?
Helen Ryan: A year and a half. And then before that I went for six months and then I've gone back and forth for like a month at a
Kandidly Kristin: time. Oh my God. That, that sounds like, like my dream life.
Helen Ryan: It was, it was amazing hard. Sometimes I bought so many times I bought yogurt thinking. I mean, cut it. No sour cream. Think it was yogurt. Cause I couldn't read the.
Kandidly Kristin: Oh, yeah, mistakes like that. Oh, but that sounds awesome. And what did, did your kids love it? Were they like, oh my God.
Helen Ryan: Yeah. I wanted to put some stress on them, a different kind of stress.
So when they came home, like whatever they handled here, they encountered here would be easier to handle. My son had a lot of social anxiety and by the time he came back, he was almost like a whole nother person. He was not afraid to talk to people. You know, just, they grew and they met people all around the world and it was really cool for them.
And they're, they're such good people, my kids. So it just was a bonus for me to get to travel with
Kandidly Kristin: them. Nice. That's awesome. Wow. All right. So what I'd like. From you ladies now is think about the listeners that are going to hear this when it goes out to the world. And if each of you could give what you believe to be your key takeaway when it comes to reinvention, what the most important thing you want them to hear to take from this chat?
I would. Love that. And you know me I'm loose with it. Anybody can go first.
Travia Steward: I'll go first. The thing that I would say. Is, you know, nobody knows how much time they have. And I would say, do you know a look inside and go, am I really happy in my relationships? Am I happy with my health in the major areas of your life, your career, your, your social life, all those things.
Am I living the life that I know? I, you know, cause as kids, we all use. As adults, we kind of stopped drinking, you know, unless we're life coaches. And then we dream all the time. Right. But yeah, I would say do that, that audit that life audit is what I call it and go, what are the areas that I want to be a 10 out of 10?
We start there, like Helen said, making small changes one at a time and going, I do have the time and get committed to create the life that you were put on this earth to live. Yeah, that would be my biggest takeaway. All right. Yeah.
Karin Freeland: Love. I love that too. I don't know if I can say it better, but I would just say trust yourself.
You're having these thoughts. You're having these feelings for a reason, your body, your mind. It's all trying to tell you something. Listen, and you have every, I promise you, you have all the answers within. Your best. Friend's not going to tell you what you should do. Your parents can't tell you what you should do, because they can only envision you in a certain light, but you know, those dreams that are tucked away in the back of your head, you know, those, you know, ripples from inside your heart that are trying to tell you something.
So you have to just get in tune with that and trust yourself and then go for it. Cause what do you have
Kandidly Kristin: to lose? You're not happy
Karin Freeland: now. And so you might as well make a change.
Kandidly Kristin: All right. Thank you. I love that too. And Helen
Helen Ryan: mine is to really think of ask yourself the question. What's the worst that can happen.
That's my favorite thing. And even if you lose everything, if something should happen, you know, that you're strong enough to rebuild, you know, that you have it in you to start again, because how many times have we had really difficult situations where we've lost pretty much everything and had to start new and, and just.
You know the life you already. So if you want to make a change, you already know what it's like to work in that job where you know what it's like to live here. You know what it's like to be married, but as the unknown is exciting and, and just, just go for something different, do a little something different in your life because it is short.
And you want to look back on your life with all the experiences that you had. And I only regret the things I didn't do. I don't regret the things I
Kandidly Kristin: did. Yeah. I love that. That was awesome. All right, ladies, I want my listeners to know. How to reach each of you. So if you could each in turn, give me how they can connect with you, if they would like to.
Travia Steward: Well, I'm easy. I'm Travia stewart.com. So people listening that's T R a V as in Victor, I a steward with a D S T E w a R D as in david.com. You can go to my website and there's contact. I mean, you can get all the things I'm on social, my name on Facebook on Facebook, because nobody really wants to be on Facebook anymore.
Right. I mean, LinkedIn, you know, all the places, just my name is how you can get in touch with.
Kandidly Kristin: Awesome.
Karin Freeland: Yep. Same deal. Karen freeland.com. But it's Karen with N I K a R I N. And you can get the book on Amazon or Barnes and noble, so go grab a copy. And when you do a portion of the proceeds will go to Alliance for period supplies to help end period poverty.
So you're doing a really amazing thing by helping women who can't afford tampons and pads. And of course you can follow me on Instagram, Twitter. I mean, Karen freelance. Facebook, all the, all the social platforms,
Kandidly Kristin: knife and Helen
Helen Ryan: walking and talking, not show it's my podcast website. I'm in, even though I do web design, I don't have my own website because why would I write the shoemaker's children has no shoes.
And I'm what the dentist's children have cavities. And I'm on Instagram at real Helen MRI. And because believe it or not, there are a lot of Helen Ryan's and Helen MRIs out there. And there's a ton. It's such a common name is kind of sad, but that's why I set myself apart. And I have a new book coming out called mad musings of a Deiter and that's on Amazon, along with my other two books.
Kandidly Kristin: Nice, nice, nice. That was the other thing I neglected and a city I'm looking right at it for each of you to tell me what new things you have coming up. New projects, books, events, what's in your personal pipelines, your business pipelines that we can look for. Perfect.
Travia Steward: Well, I have, I have, I'm running it. I called it create your more last year at the, in the last quarter, but it's my group coaching is called breakthrough.
And so I'm like really, cause I, the name of my podcast used to be worked out because it was reinvent yourself, work that out, you know, but it's breakthrough. So my group coaching, basically, if anybody's interested, it's going to. Consecutive, uh, beginning in August. So it'll be eight week journey to breaking through those layers.
Those things that are holding you back, we're going to peel that onion so you can go ahead and create your more. So we'll do that in August and September, and then I'll run another one in October, November, so we could step bold in a 20, 23.
Kandidly Kristin: Nice. Now, is there a link for that or is that on your website?
Travia Steward: on
Kandidly Kristin: website. Okay. Got it. And Karen, which was what's after the ins and outs of your vagina. I was trying to think of something ready to say, but I real nasty. I like.
Karin Freeland: I see how this one does first, but, well, it's gotta be amazing cause it's gonna be amazing. But so for me, I actually just got done running a three-day challenge called creating confidence, but the next one's going to be in July.
So don't hesitate to sign up for that. Now it's the last week. It's like an hour each day and it's an opportunity to review. Build out your confidence and go from wobbly to unshakeable in three days. Um, but also you can check out my Facebook group. So what I found is a lot of women don't want to be talking about this on LinkedIn, in front of their employers.
So we have a private Facebook group called successful working women rocking re-invention and you can get in there and get exclusive content every day. Nice.
Kandidly Kristin: Nice. And all of that information is on your website, Karen? Yes. Ma'am awesome. Awesome. This has been so amazing, so much better than I thought it would be.
Whenever I started episode in my head, I'm like, this is what I'm going to do. It always kind of takes the one to a life of its own and I enjoy . I I'm like you. I, I don't like the solo podcast thing. Just kind of talking to myself and renting. I really like. Interacting with other people. And I like for my listeners to hear just not my opinion or perspective on things, you know what I mean?
I like for them to, to get, to get different perspectives, I loved that we had a dissenting perspective on one of the questions. I just love all of it. I love, love, love doing this. I really do. But unfortunately we are at our time, I try to keep the shows to an. Because they're rebroadcast on an internet radio station and I only have an hour slot and I hate for stuff to get cut off.
So I am so, so grateful for all three of you Travia Karen and Helen for you jumping in when we just talked last night, I appreciate you so much. I can't write. Tell you how much. And I know my listeners are going to be empowered and emboldened and just go and take the leap. So thank you all so
Travia Steward: very much.
Thank you for having us. Thank you, Kristin. We're
Kandidly Kristin: appreciative. Welcome. So guys, as always these fabulous ladies contact info, cause I know y'all, wasn't out there writing stuff down, like I told you to, is going to be in the show notes with clickable links. Bit of information I can include in the show notes for ways you can connect with all or any of them will be in the show notes when the episode airs.
Thank you ladies again. And as always until next time, guys, I want you all to keep it. Keep it healthy and keep it Kandid.
Travia Steward is the Founder of Reinvent You, LLC and a Breakthrough Transformational Coach. Her work focuses on helping both men and women Breakthrough barriers to achieve their personal and professional goals. Releasing and breaking through these barriers is the most effective way to creating a life we were meant to live.
Travia’s mission is to inspire and empower as many people as possible to live the highest vision for their lives without settling.
As host of the Breakthrough Podcast, she focuses on stories of people who one day decided that enough was enough, to take a stand for themselves, their health, and relationships and had a breakthrough that changed the trajectory of their life. She also focuses on sharing action steps that her audience can take right now.
Helen M. Ryan loves change. She runs a marketing and communications agency and has had many side hustles along the way. Helen is the author of three books, created a walking podcast, and has traveled extensively throughout thew world as a digital nomad.
Author & Life Coach
Karin Freeland is a recovered corporate workaholic. After years in high-pressure leadership roles at Fortune 500 companies, she’s traded the boardroom for the bedroom. In her hilarious tell-all book, The Ins and Outs of My Vagina: A Penetrating Memoir, she recounts the mishaps and misadventures she’s had over the past 40 years with a special partner in crime: her vagina, named V. Women of all ages can relate to this raw and honest journey of firsts, long-term relationships, and finding pleasure.
Karin is also a speaker and certified Life & Reinvention Coach, focused on helping women transform their lives and achieve their dreams. Through her signature EDIT Your Life™ program, she offers one-on-one coaching, giving women all the tools and techniques needed to conquer fears and find their purpose.
Karin Freeland is married with two kids and resides in South Carolina.
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